JLF: What Relationships Mean to Oprah and Her Army

Johnny, these chicks have gone and soaked their brains in the intellectual equivalent of high fructose corn syrup . Feminism has turned women into poor partners. I weep for the young ones. Yeah, that’s right. I said it. They’ve finally erased from their minds the idea that feminism was about equality and humanity. These pop-psychology-loving, analytical-thinking-shunning, self-involved-queen-bee-high-horse-riding sad excuses for feminists have finally straight up admitted that they have no respect for men and what they might offer to you as a life partner. And right about now I would love to snatch out their earrings and pull their hair until their faces are smooshed against the ground, enjoying the physical representation of how they’ve been treating men all these decades.

But I’d like to support my sisters in their journey to be regular, thinking humans, so for all of you out there, listen up: If you think you need to trick men into liking you, then I’m betting you need to trick yourself into liking you, and you probably have no business trying to ‘snag’ a man. With this new realization, let’s see what we do to stop the suffering of those around you.

First, let us remember that there is no actual ‘us vs. them’ struggle-you’ve been convinced of that by all of the pseudo-feminist crap you’ve been fed. All you have to do is ask yourself “do I agree?” when someone or something promotes the ‘men are simple/dumb/basic/opposite’ position. One easy phrase, repeated like a little mantra. Next, turn to the person next to you and think (or say, if necessary), “this is a person with feelings and attitudes and wants and desires, kind of like I think I do.” If you can think of your own feelings, try wondering what your human neighbor is feeling. As with playing the piano, practice makes perfect – so keep at it until you get it right. Now, with all of the humanity you can muster, say to yourself, “Geez, I really don’t like it when my feelings and attitudes aren’t met with respect.” Finally, and this is the big one, ask, “Am I treating my fellow humans with consideration for their feelings, attitudes, needs, and wants?” If you need to take baby steps, may I recommend practicing with yourself or a trusted friend or relative, perhaps a small companion animal. It won’t be easy to undo what billions of dollars of marketing and educational funding have done, and remember, it might take some time to get used to the idea of thinking for yourself. It gets easier with practice, so hop to it!

Since Oprah’s forced us to assume a hetero-normative (thinking caps, everyone) social perspective, take these four easy steps and apply them to your potential partnerships (we’ll call them your ‘men’ for now). Remember, men are humans, too. Just because you are too self-focused right now to notice their feelings doesn’t mean they can’t get hurt. Practice treating humans equally and you’ll snag that man in no time.

Now, THAT is what I call FULL HOT, MFF! When I'm pissed, I want everyone to be pissed, and it looks like you're on board with this one. In fact, we might be related.

I'm the best blogger ever.

That is some post, JLF. I'm dizzy from that transcript. Thanks for bringing this particular episode to our attention. I'd ask you to watch more Oprah if it'll give content like this, but I don't think your arteries could take it. I need to go get a wallet and some muscles...

"Johnny stole the pickle from the pickle jar"
"Who, me?"
"Yes, you!"
"Couldn't be!"
"Then who?"

I'll never forget the day I woke up and realized I was sexist. A sexist woman. Coming from a generation raised by a co-dependent grandmother and an independent mother, I always thought I had to choose one way to live my life. In the modern world, it made sense to cling to independence. Turns out I was treating all men like dirt in order to make myself feel "better". Once I realized that, in almost exactly the way that MFF described, I slowly began to change my own mind about men. I've learned from the examples of both grandma and mom - taking the best aspects of each in order to live My Life. And, ultimately, I've become a better woman for it.

whoa- not only is this "advise" babbling garbage, but i agree with MFF...feminism is about equality and the 4th wave incarnation of payback, reverse psychology, and manipulation is real ill. we're all just people. we want the same things. we want people to help us with the pickle jar when its too hard, just like we want someone to hug when things get too hard. using either to manipulate (and who are these idiotic men who measure their worth in pickle-jar-opening-brawn?) is totally bogus advise.

Patti Novak is assanine. Thanks for bringing this discussion to my attention cause now I am HAWT!

i saw that show of oprah too. it was so bad! she has no idea what she is talking about! a professional???

HAWTaction is on FIYA! I love it. Keep the comments coming in!

i think the truth of feminism was lost some time ago to marketing and tv show execs. it's like "girl power" became "lets be men" power. look at your typical corporate women execs. they have sacrificed the beautiful qualities that make them women to fit in with the boys.
yes the world is unbalanced because men hold too much power. but unfortunately women are only coming to power by acting more like men!

following ms. novak's advice doesn't make you any smarter, it makes you a bitch. you may look all hot and sexy, but with that attitude you'll only end up with a beef head of a partner who finds all his self-worth in pickle jar opening. :(