Playing God. Project: Bag the Appendix
When things go so advanced in the science of biology, like when we determine aspects of our babies or cause human ears to grow on mice, we are Playing God. This is a series that explore those advances.
We've seen some crazy things that are getting us closer to Playing God, but this might be the most sassy yet.
The vermiform appendix (a.k.a. the appendix) is a mess. It is a pocket on the intestines, around where small and large tubes meet. It's a useless organ. It does nothing, and we operate flawlessly without it. It's kind of like love. I mean... wha? But, how did we get this appendix then? Everything in us must have given us an evolutionary advantage. Long, sexy legs? Obvious. Eyes? Obvious, to see long, sexy legs. Appendix? Totally useless. No one has any idea.
All we know is that that thing can get infected like all get-out. The pain is excruciating, I've heard. Either the pocket's taken out of the wailing human, or it ruptures and he/she can die. This post is about a new way to get it out. Bag it.
We've seen some crazy things that are getting us closer to Playing God, but this might be the most sassy yet.
The vermiform appendix (a.k.a. the appendix) is a mess. It is a pocket on the intestines, around where small and large tubes meet. It's a useless organ. It does nothing, and we operate flawlessly without it. It's kind of like love. I mean... wha? But, how did we get this appendix then? Everything in us must have given us an evolutionary advantage. Long, sexy legs? Obvious. Eyes? Obvious, to see long, sexy legs. Appendix? Totally useless. No one has any idea.
All we know is that that thing can get infected like all get-out. The pain is excruciating, I've heard. Either the pocket's taken out of the wailing human, or it ruptures and he/she can die. This post is about a new way to get it out. Bag it.
So, getting this useless piece of flesh out of us is a simple procedure now, the appendectomy, but it has potential complications and leaves that wonky, unique scar. What doctors in San Diego are suggesting as an alternative is like a Mission Impossible movie. First, a thread is used to drop a bunch of tools into the stomach. The tools are released and controlled by humans looking in with cameras. The stomach lining is pierced, the appendix found, snipped, caught in a bag (like a sloppy, infected butterfly) and pulled into the stomach. It's then brought up the throat and out the mouth in the ultimate game of that arcade claw machine.
Apparently after this surgery you only have a sore throat and two to three days recovery. The old school version? Recovery can take weeks (no joke), you have to stay away from high-intensity activity for months (noooo joke), wicked scar, serious threat of infection and increased chance of hernia problems.
Sounds like a no-brainer. This system is so sassy, I think we should do everything like this: vasectomies, toe nail grooming and soul restoration. I actually won't be happy until at least ten tools are in my stomach at all times, ready to work. One of my tools will be a robotic masseuse that can take care of the party down there.
Any step towards understanding and controlling complicated human body functions like, literally, bagging an inner organ is a step closer to Playing God.
Mail Online via Gizmodo.
Apparently after this surgery you only have a sore throat and two to three days recovery. The old school version? Recovery can take weeks (no joke), you have to stay away from high-intensity activity for months (noooo joke), wicked scar, serious threat of infection and increased chance of hernia problems.
Sounds like a no-brainer. This system is so sassy, I think we should do everything like this: vasectomies, toe nail grooming and soul restoration. I actually won't be happy until at least ten tools are in my stomach at all times, ready to work. One of my tools will be a robotic masseuse that can take care of the party down there.
Any step towards understanding and controlling complicated human body functions like, literally, bagging an inner organ is a step closer to Playing God.
Mail Online via Gizmodo.
Join the HAWTaction reader group on Facebook.
I don't see the downside to the new procedure, either!