Money is Very Dirty
Anyone who holds a handful of change for over five seconds wants to chuck the warm coins in to the Hudson river and set their hands ablaze to sanitize there. (No? Am I the only one?) There's nothing quite like the creeps I get from contact with metal that has seen asphalt, pockets, dirty water, sewage, bathroom sinks, dust, vending machines, mouths, phone booths, the space under a dryer in the laundromat... anything, really, except a dishwasher.Every once in a while I see a bill that looked particularly haggard and chills slip up my back, but mainly the insane disgust is isolated to coins. Well, the periodical Trends in Analytical Chemistry has changed that.
The study in Trends in Analytical Chemistry reports that there is trace cocaine on bills. How does that happen? Well, cocaine is usually paid for with cash, and the dealers/buyers handle the bills just after the drug. In addition, as Artie knows, bills make a great conduit for cocaine from the mirror on the coffee table to the sinuses.
Now, in true Olympic spirit, I'm going to cheer for the U.S.A., because their bills were found to have the highest concentration of trace cocaine in the world!!! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! The U.S. bills ranged from 2.9 and 28.8 micrograms of cocaine with a maximum of more than 1,300 micrograms found on some 1996 bills (year and city were the main factors for the trace range).
The highest concentration in Europe was Spain, which makes me really proud of my home-country as well! Espana! Espana! Spanish bills averaged 155 micrograms of cocaine.
In terms of percentage of contaminated bills, let's look at the delta between the U.K. and Switzerland. Between 40 and 50 percent of U.K. bills came up positive for cocaine, while only 6% of Swiss bills did. (My guess is that the Swiss get high on Edelweiss tea.)
Of course, this just begs the question, "What else is on our bills?" Well, a 2002 study in the Southern Medical Journal looked at bills from a western community in western Ohio. The results? 94 percent of $1 bills contained disease-causing or potentially disease-causing bacteria. Delish. Just delish.
Give me my AmEx and a nightly appointment with Clorox Wipes.
Now, in true Olympic spirit, I'm going to cheer for the U.S.A., because their bills were found to have the highest concentration of trace cocaine in the world!!! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! The U.S. bills ranged from 2.9 and 28.8 micrograms of cocaine with a maximum of more than 1,300 micrograms found on some 1996 bills (year and city were the main factors for the trace range).
The highest concentration in Europe was Spain, which makes me really proud of my home-country as well! Espana! Espana! Spanish bills averaged 155 micrograms of cocaine.
In terms of percentage of contaminated bills, let's look at the delta between the U.K. and Switzerland. Between 40 and 50 percent of U.K. bills came up positive for cocaine, while only 6% of Swiss bills did. (My guess is that the Swiss get high on Edelweiss tea.)
Of course, this just begs the question, "What else is on our bills?" Well, a 2002 study in the Southern Medical Journal looked at bills from a western community in western Ohio. The results? 94 percent of $1 bills contained disease-causing or potentially disease-causing bacteria. Delish. Just delish.
Give me my AmEx and a nightly appointment with Clorox Wipes.
Join the HAWTaction reader group on Facebook.
I know nothing about this.
I'm the best blogger, ever.
- JLF
Usually I would chime in with a witty comment about JLF here, but I just got a nose bleed.