Posthumous Credit Card Bills
And they are programmed to be dumb. They read from their scripts like soul-less robots, immune from any urgency or frustration you may be experiencing. I've certainly had my share of yelling matches and threatening expletives.Well, thanks to brother Alex, I was pointed in the direction of one FairLoanRate.com. They have an example of a conversation between a service representative (and manager) and a man who is informing them their client, his family member, had passed away.
The script from the FairLoanRate article.
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die!!
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.
Here is the exchange:
Family Member: “I am calling to tell you she died in January.”
Citibank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”
Family Member: “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.”
Citibank: “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.”
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”
Citibank: “Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!”
Family Member: “Do you think God will be mad at her?” (I really liked this part!!!!)
Citibank: “Excuse me?”
Family Member: “Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?”
Citibank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.” (Duh!)
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: “I’m calling to tell you, she died in January.”
Citibank: “The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.” (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”
Citibank: (Stammer) “Are you her lawyer?”
Family Member: “No, I’m her great nephew.”
(Lawyer info given)
Citibank: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”
Family Member: “Sure.” (Fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
Citibank: “Our system just isn’t setup for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.”
Family Member: “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.”
Citibank: “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.” (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: “Would you like her new billing address?”
Citibank: “That might help.”
Family Member: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”
Citibank: “Sir, that’s a cemetery!”
The Conversation ended here but I wonder if citibank is still sending credit card statements and collection staff to this address.
I don't know how accurate this re-telling is. I don't know if it's a stroke of creative genius behind the minds of FairLoanRate. What I do know, is that I believe this can happen. It can totally happen. Conversations like this happen every second of every day. Until we at HAWT are granted Patriot Act snooping capabilities, we're just going to have to dream about the possibilities.
I can only imagine the conversations my wives will have after I'm gone. I have so many credit cards, I carry them around in an artist's portfolio.
I'm the best blogger, ever.
- JLF