Breaking Knews: Republicans Link Grandmother's Death to Obama Tactic
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Just a few hours ago, Barack Obama's grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, passed away from cancer in Hawai'i. McCain's campaign has already criticized the move as "the most strategic move of any election in U.S. history." HAWTaction spoke to a McCain campaign strategist under conditions of anonymity.
McCAIN STRATEGIST: We can't believe Obama has sunken this low. We always thought he might play the dead-grandmother card, but we didn't know it would be 24 hours before the election. We've have advertisements ready to go pointing out how Obama will do anything, including use the strategic death of his grandmother, to get votes. By them arranging the death the day before the election, it gives us almost no time to point out what a low, low campaign he is running.
BREAKING KNEWS: But his grandmother raised him.
McCAIN STRATEGIST: I can't believe they played this card so late in the game. It's as brilliant as it is frustrating. I mean, we all know that Obama doesn't care about his family, just like all other Muslims. I mean, he doesn't care that his half-brother lives in poverty in Africa. He didn't even know his aunt was in this country illegally!
BREAKING KNEWS: Obama's family is more complicated than most.
McCAIN STRATEGIST: Of course. That's convenient. It takes a special man to use his grandmother's death to his advantage in the election. What made it worse is that he set it up by taking those two days off the campaign to go see her. It was like, "Hey, don't forget that I have this white woman in my life!" Without him making such a fuss over going to see her, this wouldn't have been such a big deal. I can't believe they did this and that they are using it to get votes. Even if it takes them up 2 points, that might take them just over what McCain's going to do with his comeback tomorrow to make up the difference that now might be 2 points more, which might make the comeback come up short.
BREAKING KNEWS: What?
McCAIN STRATEGIST: I can't believe Obama's milking this.
BREAKING KNEWS: Obama hasn't even talked about it yet.
McCAIN STRATEGIST: You'll see. He doesn't love his family at all, but tomorrow he'll have a $50 million 1-hour pity-party spot on all networks tomorrow morning.
BREAKING KNEWS: How could Obama have controlled the death of his grandmother?
McCAIN STRATEGIST: [Laughter.] He'll do anything to bring socialism to this country. Put nothing by him. Gotta go. Country first!
Breaking Knews will keep you informed of any developments.
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It's true! He doesn't care about his family!
Woooooow, Jenn. That's the kind of comment I told you I can't allow on HAWT.
This conversation sounds realistic to me.
You know he also pals around with terrorists and crazy preachers?
I'm the best blogger, ever.
- JLF